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“Fear is the devil’s most potent weapon. And it’s just as potent when you have to deal with yourself. I choose not to spend time in introspection, because I’m scared of what I might find.”
Because I Am Me
by Falvo Fowler
Often times we do things just because. And just because we are who we are. There is no thought to our actions or our choices. Because we are who we are. There are those among us who don’t rush into decisions but intelligently weigh their options and choose wisely. However, for the majority in most situations, we’re Nike in action—we just do it.
But like the laws of physics, our actions often have an equal reaction. It may not be immediate, but there will be a reaction. And by not carefully considering our choices, those reactions can often blindside us.
Take the boy who grew up in a home where he was told as he walked out the door, “Don’t get caught and don’t make a baby.” Well, one out of two is quite good—there isn’t a baby waiting for a father. However, there is the boy who now sits in prison, still not coming to terms with what he did wrong, because he never had to come to terms before. He always had prayed (when he needed to), and he always had written inspiring pieces. He had preached and had done all sorts of things that touched the lives of people. But he also dealt drugs, had meaningless sexual encounters, and would drink until he could drink no more until the next time he drank (which was often enough, but not on Sabbath).
That sort of thinking just makes me wonder: Is half a lie any bit of truth? If I’m often knowingly evil, am I really good? Can I purposely sin during the week, then truly worship on the Sabbath? Can I waltz with the devil while trying to get with God?
Because I’m thinking, there must be a whole bunch of people out there living that way of life: be good, but be bad when you want to be. And don’t worry about it, because after all, you’re you, and that’s just the way it always will be. And being you is what it’s all about, right?—as long as you sometimes tithe, occasionally give to mission projects, and try to make it to church.
If you truly are looking for a better way of life—and no one knows life like God—you’ll realize that the best choices you can make are the ones that are the right choices to make. And no matter how you dice it, no matter how many hours of philosophizing you may spend, no matter what your friends say, you truly do know what the right choices are. It’s just that you often choose otherwise.
Because I am, and because I am me, there are few other people who understand me. Though often that may be a cause for therapy, it often is a call for discovering more about who I am. And just as often, I choose not to take the time to discover myself, because I think I’ll find things I’ve locked away.
Where does that fear come from? Why am I often scared to look into myself and get rid of the crud that I’ve accumulated?
Fear is the devil’s most potent weapon. And it’s just as potent when you have to deal with yourself. I choose not to spend time in introspection, because I’m scared of what I might find. But this is me. And no one knows me like me, right? So why do I fear to know all of me?
This is where Isaiah 1:18–20 stands out as an excellent starting point. If you honestly—and I mean honestly—start communicating with God about yourself; if you earnestly study your way through Scripture; if you sincerely put forth the effort to live right, your life will continue to be yours in an evolutionary growth of goodness which will encompass your responsible to God and community.
And when you begin growing this way, just because will cease to be a reason for existence. Why? Because now there is purpose. Now there is you—the crowning act of all creation. Now there is the image of God being formed in you.
Why?
Because you chose to choose God.
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