How to Make That Decision?
Preface: Though human sexuality is a gift from God, as with all gifts, it can be abused.
“How to Please Your Mate,” “10 Things to Drive Your Lover Crazy,” “What Makes a Woman Feel Good.” Are these familiar to you? Everywhere you go, such titles try to catch your attention. In today’s world, sex seems to occupy a prime spot in the limelight. It is everywhere—TV, movies, Internet, and a familiar topic in everyday conversation. So we may ask, where do we as Christians fit into this picture? How should I deal with the pressures that surround me on a daily basis?
1. The decision is mine. After reading Paul’s words to the Corinthians, these questions seem very familiar. The Corinthians seemed to be dealing with many of the same pressures we have today. Paul implies that it may be best to remain single. However, he stresses that marriage is in no way bad or wrong. In fact, it is a wonderful thing created by our heavenly Father. So the final decision remains a personal one.
2. Am I in love? The issue of marriage and sexuality raises many questions and not very many easy answers. Many of us struggle simply to understand the concept of love and its relationship to sexuality. As Paul suggests, sexual feelings are a normal part of our being. “Love is not only something you feel. It’s something you do.”* This quote hangs on my refrigerator as a constant reminder that to love was my decision.
3. Did I make the right decision? A huge percentage of marriages today are ending in divorce. The reasons for this range from incompatibility and lack of interest to unfaithfulness. When Paul spoke to the Corinthians about marriage he stressed the importance of making a marriage last. He never once encouraged breaking apart a home. An added note is this. Abuse is not part of God’s plan whether verbal, sexual, or physical. Those who find themselves in such a relationship should seek guidance from their pastor or a Christian marriage counselor. God never intended this as part of a marriage relationship.
4. I want to marry, but have never found a mate. It is the dream of many of us since childhood to find that perfect spouse, have a perfect family, and live happily ever after. For some, children may not be an option; for others, marriage itself may never occur. However, God has a plan for each of us. Rather than feeling remorse caused by singlehood, perhaps it would be a good idea to ask God what His plans are for you.
* David Wilkerson, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/d/david_wilkerson.html (accessed July 24, 2012).